I have avoided patching pretty much anything since G. gave me my 1st sewing machine 3 years ago. My jeans which are the steady producer of rips and holes have not been patched once. I’m not too bothered by small rips or tears and the little patches that wear thin on my inner thighs from cycling always seem so inconspicuous at first. So I keep wearing them, and wearing them, and wearing them. Until they are indecent and beyond the help of a patch. We’re talking plastic surgery level, fabric grafting required.
See I remember what my mom use to do to my sisters jeans when she would bring them home for mending. She would put in a whole new layer of jean and zig-zag like there was no tomorrow. My sister would end up with a bottom more reinforced and protected than a tank. The few times I asked for mending (in exchange for window washing or vacuuming) my jeans were always uncomfortably snugger (and given how snug they would have started out as, this is a feat I’m telling you).
So I’ve been afraid of those over zig-zaged bums for years. And as a result never patching mine, never thought of trying a different way, or patching early enough that you wouldn’t need a whole new layer. Now if I could only rip my jeans in a nice, straightforward place like the thigh say, I could use one of these wicked patches from andsewoncrafts. I’d love to have ‘Scandinavian man wih ukelele’ on my thigh 🙂 .
My patching issues haven’t been limited to just jeans however. I’ve been taking bribes to mend G.’s shirts, shorts, sweaters you name it, and not quite um… delivering. Until today. Cause I need to clean out the box of mending that has followed us through the 4 moves we’ve made since I got my machine (and has yet to have a single item removed – except of course when the owner decided that they could get one more wear out of). Cause I am not moving the box again … hint hint …
So this morning from the mending box I have removed – FULLY MENDED AND IRONED:
- Two small tears under the arm of a beige men’s short-sleeve shirt.
- One hole under the arm and a huge gash mid way up the arm of blue stripey men’s long-sleeve shirt. This one posed a bit more challenging because the arm gash is so visible. In the end I used a trick that I had previously turned my nose up at: cut out fabric from behind chest pocket, sew up pocket top and voilà -identical patch fabric. I even managed to get the stripes to line up, well mostly….
- Two pairs of holy jeans – plus one pair sacrificed to save the lives of the others.
- One hole in the shoulder of a men’s grey wool knit jumper. I expect I was suppose to darn this. But I’ve never darned anything in my life. G.’s aunt every year gives him amazing socks she’s knitted for him – socks that will outlast every other article of clothing when the apocalypse comes and G. is left wondering the earth in nothing but his socks. She also sends a wee bit of extra matching wool, I guess in the misguided notion that one of us will one day darn the socks (having saving our darning needles through the apocalypse just for this purpose). I conscientiously stash the wool is a ‘safe spot’ and never again find it. Hence when approaching the sweater I just took a needle and thread to it and kind of stabbed it and knotted it. That’s do I guess?
So I am feel pretty triumphant about my patches. 
 However, I would like to point out that the next person that suggests – when they learn that A. I am unemployed and B. I sew – that I could make a ‘fair amount of money from patching people’s clothes’ cause ‘people pay a lot for that sorta thing’ I may punch you.